Here’s my very best tip for being strategic instead of scattered in your life.
But first I need to tell you how I came across it.
You see, I loved my life!
I had a job that was exciting and stimulating, kids that I enjoyed, a husband who treated me like a queen.
So why wasn’t I happy?
Why was I constantly snapping at people?
Why was I dreading each morning so much?
From the outside looking in everything was just peachy, but I was struggling to make it through each day.
Because I wasn’t choosing to be happy.
Because I wasn’t owning my emotions.
Because I was so burned out.
Because I wasn’t living in alignment with my values.
Because I had no freaking idea what my values even were.
I was over-scheduled and generally overwhelmed. The hustle and the bustle of working mom life was getting the best of me each and every day.
Historically, I was someone who had all the motivation, joy and happiness… and during this season of burnout I had become negative, critical and demanding – of myself and others – and to be completely honest, I was someone that I didn’t recognize and really didn’t want to be.
During that time I had a short fuse and absolutely zero patience. This sometimes still happens, but it’s so much less frequent then when I was deep in my burnout.
I couldn’t see the forest for the trees and all of my many blessings felt, well, like really freaking heavy burdens. I felt burdened by my job, my kids, our home, feeding, budgeting, groceries, my relationship, all the things in my life felt heavy and I felt like I was carrying them all alone.
I kept turning it over in my mind & thinking… there has got to be a better way to do this working mom thing than to struggle through each and every day of the next 18-years and collapse in a heap of empty-nesting relief when your youngest leaves home.
Here’s what I realized.
I get to choose if my life is terrific or torture!
I am in control of my thoughts, feelings and attitude.
I get to choose happy (And so do you!)
Dammit – I bet you were hoping I’d tell you there was some quick fix, formula, magic pill or solution that I could sell you and miraculous change your life!
When I started pausing throughout the day & setting my intention before each action, I started choosing the energy, feelings, outcome and desired result of each thing to do, each encounter, & each opportunity on my never-ending to do list.
And I noticed a pattern…
Each time I took that 5-second breather to set my intentions I started to feel better.
When I did it several times a day (particularly with tasks, encounters and conversations that I was dreading) I started feeling better at the end of the day. I started seeing my day as opportunities to show up well, things that I get to do instead of burdens and tasks that I have to do.
The times when setting my intention was particularly impactful were times of transition. Transitioning from mom mode, doing the morning boogie and the daycare scramble to professional PA mode – I’d put the car in park in the hospital parking garage and take 3 deep belly breaths & set my intention. Walking out of work in the evening, on the drive home I’d take those deep breaths, set my intention and visualize how the evening would go – I’d keep my cool, I’d get on my kids level, I’d aim to connect with each of my family members between dinner, baths, and bedtime.
So I started doing it… all the time… OK, not all the time… but as much as I could.
Here’s how you can start setting your intentions (in less than 5-seconds, thank-you-very-much), too:
- Take a deep breath.
- In your mind – choose the energy, vibes, feelings, thoughts and outcome you’d like to bring to, give and get from the event.
- Repeat a mantra or phrase that jives with your desired outcome:
“I am a fun-loving, present momma.”
or “My kids know they are loved.”
or “I’m one sexy woman.”
or some other mantra that speaks to you!
- Step into the activity feeling the feelings, bringing the energy and thinking the thoughts you want.
Once I started setting my intentions, choosing my thoughts, feelings and energy regularly, my life was forever changed.
Pretty cool, right?
You wouldn’t think simply setting your intention would make that big of a difference, but it does.
After you start setting intentions for all the things, those blessings that you get to do and parent today tag me @mrstracybingaman on Instagram and let me know how it worked out!
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