Holy Shit!
No wonder you’re burned out from working motherhood… there’s so many jackasses out there telling you to “find work-life balance” like it’s a hidden treasure in the game of life and once you unlock the level of balance, you find it in a treasure chest, a hidden land, and poof – all of your problems are solved!
You know what drives me crazy?
Like makes me want to throw a toddler in the cereal aisle at the grocery store epic level tantrum kind of crazy? The kind of tantrum that would make you seriously consider abandoning your ¾ full cart just to get the heck out of the store?
The thing that enrages me? This idea of work-life balance is the one worthwhile goal for working moms. Like what in the actual fuck?!
No one is imposing this standard for “working dads”. Heck, working dads isn’t even something that we say. We just call them dads.
WHY aren’t we saying it about Dads? WHY aren’t husbands and fathers beating themselves up over not living a perfectly “balanced” life.
This ideal that “we” as a society have decided work-life balance to be one and only goal as a working mom… that the ideal definition of success in this arena is to be standing on a metaphorical teeter totter with one foot on the work side and one foot on the life side… like work and life shouldn’t be integrated? Like we can’t aim for harmony and peace.
Because balance – this thought of a fair 50/50 split of time, energy, and brainpower between “life” and work – it’s bullshit & I hate to be the one to break it to you, but it’s never going to happen!
Like.. isn’t a work a one single part of our rich and diverse life? And a minor part at that? Why are we elevating work to live in equal portion to our life?
When we are aiming for this bullshit of work-life balance, we are aiming for a moving target, an unrealistic ideal and it’s leaving us exhausted and run ragged. It’s making us work harder, longer, sleep less, and spend less time doing what we love. I don’t know about you, but to me, it feels freaking terrible!
I wish we could go back in time and, when the first person thought of and coined “work-life balance” – and completely erase that conversation from happening.
Instead – I wish that person had coined the phrase – “work-life integration” or “intentional living” or heck, just started saying that we wanted to live in alignment, be at peace, and get some freaking rest – what if those were the goals instead?
Because… work-life balance is a working motherhood myth and it’s unattainable. We need to stop shooting for this balance bullshit!
What, then, should we be aiming for instead?
- Peace and contentment.
- Knowing what you value and then doing things that are in alignment with your values.
- Confidence in your decision, strength in your abilities, and trust in your intuition.
- Stepping out bravely into your truth – speaking it, living it, sharing it with the world – because you are the only you there is!
- Intentionality with your time, energy, efforts, and schedule.
- To be ruthless about rest, sociopathic about self-care and brutal about getting your basic needs met!
- Deep relationships, cultivating connection, and being present where your feet are.
- Less distraction, less hustle and less martyrdom as a mom!
I’m so glad you’re on the journey to become fulfilled as a mother and you are ready to set fire to this idea of work-life balance!
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